The last 7
months of my life have been more difficult and life changing than I ever would
have anticipated. One engagement being heart wrenchingly called off, a long
flight to London only to be deported, to turn around and fly to Germany 4,806.8
miles away from home, (yes, according to google maps that’s from my front door
back home in Florida to my front door here in Germany) where I would make my
new home. These were only the first part of many life changing and growing
situations I have had and will continue to go through. God has taught me a lot
in this short amount of time and I know that I’ve changed and grown so much in
Him. Living in a foreign country is an amazing unique experience. It’s not
without its challenges though. I’ve been here for roughly six months and I’ve
had my ups and downs to say the least. I still love it here and I’m not ready
to book my plane flight back just yet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t go through
my days of being homesick or wondering why I’m here.
There has
definitely been an adjustment period and why wouldn’t there be? Picking up and
moving to another country isn’t supposed to be easy. When you look up culture
shock and what people have to say about it, there is usually a long list that
people say are “signs” for culture shock. I can say I’ve probably experienced
almost everything listed. Feeling sad, feelings of vulnerability or depression,
homesickness, feeling confused, insomnia and questioning why you came… Not to
mention I have had days where I get emotional over almost anything. So contrary
to popular belief back home, it’s not a walk in the park and it’s not all roses
and sunshine. There were some small adjustments and then there were some very
big adjustments that I’m still having to get used to. The big thing is how I’ve
handled it though. I strongly believe how we come out of tough times defines
who we are. So, some things I’ve struggled with, things I’ve learned or learned to
appreciate, are here and not in any specific order.
Everything
is closed on Sundays.
I’m
not talking the usual Chick-fil-a being closed on Sunday ordeal. Everything is
closed. So, do your shopping beforehand and hope and pray that you don’t start
pmsing and getting cravings late Saturday night or Sunday, because you’re out
of luck if you do. For you women, I’m sure you can feel my pain when I say it’s
a terrible, terrible thing to crave chocolate and not be able to get your hands
on it. So you quickly learn to keep an emergency stash of chocolate at all
times. All of that aside, it makes Sundays so relaxed and enjoyable. I wish we
would adopt this. Having one day where life doesn’t keep you busy and running
from one place to the next is a wonderful thing. It makes for wonderful quiet time
that truly has no distractions. Even God himself took a day to rest. We need
that too.
The
roads, cars and parking spots are a quarter the size of ours.
I’m
not even kidding. The big redneck pickup trucks I’m used to being around
wouldn’t make it down a single street here — actually none of our trucks or
SUVs would make it here. After driving the autobahn, driving in tourist central
is going to seem like a walk in the park. I mean it, after having a car whiz
past you at 120+ mph or having someone honk at you for not driving fast enough
for them, the tourist stress of I-Drive seems like a dream. I may actually come
home a better driver (and for those who know me, that’s a miracle no one would
have ever seen coming).
Leisurely
walks.
Why
don’t we walk more? Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not wanting to go out and
walk all the time, but on a nice day it’s so enjoyable. (The keyword there is “nice”
and for this Florida girl it’s a little bit too cool outside right now.)
Walking is such a common and enjoyed thing here. We drive everywhere. Why? I
just watched a movie recently where they said, “A leisurely stroll is a gift”.
Stop what you’re doing and go take a walk outside. Enjoy the fresh air and sun,
the beauty that God created and have some quiet time with Him. For those of you
living in a state (or country) with lots of sun, know that there are people all
over the world who would love to have that. Don’t take it for granted. I know I
won’t anymore.
On that
note...
The
sun.
Oh
how I took the sun for granted. Unfortunately, when you live in the sunshine
state that seems easily done. Don’t get me started on the humidity in August
that makes you sweat after taking two steps outside. We’ve had an unusually
warm winter here this year, but between the foggy, rainy, overcast and complete
lack of sun days, I realize how much I took the sun for granted. Just wait,
I’ll come home and want to spend every minute I can in the sun, and it’s not
even been a harsh winter here, at least not yet. Excuse me while I go find some
wood to knock on…
You
find out who your real friends are.
That’s
a really hard thing to come to terms with. It only makes sense though. When
you’re almost 5,000 away from home and you’re not there every day like you used
to be, people move on. It might even be that the people that you thought you
were closest to are the ones who just don’t understand how difficult it is to
do what you’re doing and that’s ok. I want people around me who support and
understand why I’m doing what I’m doing. I’ve taken it as a lesson learned and
it’s made me value those few people I have in my life who have been there
through thick and thin, who are willing to listen to me whine and talk me out
of my momentary weakness of wanting to get on the next flight home. That being
said, you meet some of the most amazing people who challenge your way of
thinking and welcome you into their culture with open arms. They’re people you’ll
stay in contact with forever and you’ll have some great friends to visit when
you come back.
Adjusting
to that new culture is not always the easiest thing.
Whether
it be you’re living in a country where food is religion for them or if you’re
in a culture where they don’t sugar coat and everything is directly to the
point, it can be a pretty big adjustment to get used to. For me, living in a
culture where they’re direct, to the point, don’t sugar coat, and don’t know
how to read in between the lines hasn’t been the easiest, especially coming
from a culture where we try so hard to be politically correct. You can’t say
yes here and hope they understand that you really don’t want to take part in
whatever it is they’ve asked of you. It’s given me a whole new understanding to
“say what you mean and mean what you say”. It’s been hard and is still shocking
sometimes, but yet something I’m thankful to be (slowly) learning because in
most situations having things so black and white makes life easier. If you can
learn to embrace whatever cultural differences there are, you not only learn a
lot about yourself but you also adjust much quicker to that culture.
Learning
a language in a different country is the hardest
and best way to learn.
Being
thrown into another culture isn’t easy, but when you add a different language
on top of that a whole list of emotions will come out that you never knew you
had in you. Insecurity, anxiety, fear, among many, many others were extremely
common for me. There have been nights when I’ve been in bed wondering what I’m
doing. Although, it all seems worth it once you actually start to understand
and get the hang of the language. Then, there is the first night when you
actually dream in that language. About five months into my stay here I had a very short dream in German. I don’t
remember what was said to me in the dream, but I’m pretty sure I responded with
something like: “Mein Deutsch ist nicht gut. Tut mir leid”. More than likely
that’s because that was (and still is sometimes) my common response when people
start talking to me in German. I don’t have them often, but when I do I wake up
so perplexed because my German vocabulary isn’t the strongest.
The biggest
thing that I’m thankful I’ve learned from this chapter of my life is that solidarity
brings you closer to God. He helps shape you and how you react to culture
differences. You also get to a point where depending on Him is the only way you’ll
keep sane. It’s a beautiful, wonderful and amazing thing. If nothing else came
out of the time that I’m here, that alone will be worth it. The amazing thing
is, I know God won’t stop teaching me. He’ll keep continuing to push me and I’m
so thankful for that because I know I’m going to come out a stronger person.
